I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
