The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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