i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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