I got chris browned last night
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
