You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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