Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
