He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
