I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
