What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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