Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
3pm strippers are depressing
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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