This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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