Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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