3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i dont even know how to be here
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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