An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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