I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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