you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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