My cat gives me a boner
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
