the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
