She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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