I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
