I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize