when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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