i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
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She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
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