Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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