The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
