I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We are two peas in an std pod
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My vagina is very pro this idea
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
