I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
