8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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