do herpes really smell.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize