that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
