When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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