they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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