Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
