well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
