broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Houston, we have a squirter
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
