She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
