he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
