ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
