My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
These tits shall not be calmed
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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