ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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