Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
