So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
