rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
