Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
