Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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