What did we do last night that was yellow?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
