Non-Jews are for practice
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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