I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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