I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
