Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
