Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
only you would photoshop your dick
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
