Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
