I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Can I color on your dick again?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
