I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize