I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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