While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
