just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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