He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
