apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize