I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
