K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
